Last nights dinner was delicious, and I don’t regret a bite.
Anthony prepared a bountiful meal of cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, ginger, and red pepper flakes.
It was insane – so delicious. He asked me what kind of sauce he could put on it, and in a moment of weakness, I said “oh, a dash of soy sauce can’t hurt.” After three glorious days of being fully symptom free, I thought I was fine, and ready for just a taste.
This morning, I woke up in a horrible mood, and with a symptom flare up. It’s so infuriating. I feel angry, guilty and frustrated with myself and my body. How can my body not be able to process less than a tablespoon of soy sauce?
In a way, however, I’m grateful, as it’s showing me that my body is, in fact, incredibly sensitive, and I need to respect it. My brain may not notice the difference, but my body does. I’m praying I don’t have to start over (it’s been nearly two weeks!) but I am trying to be in acceptance of my body and what it’s going through.
G-d, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
So, instead of wallowing, I’m getting back on the “wagon.” I’ll also do something today to nourish myself, probably a meditation session or a home practice, and a bike ride.
I hope you all have a beautiful day.